NCIS: The Curse

Okay, so I'm totally rusty. I've also consumed vast quantities of vodka and sat in the spa for a while, so I'm totally incoherent as well. This should be fun, y'all!



We open with the Dramatic Strings and a hunter's POV down a scope as he stalks a deer. The hunter bounds after the deer and stacks it in a pile of leaves. Unfortunately, the poor, persecuted deer does not take this opportunity to enact a richly deserved smackdown of the hunter, but instead bounds off, never to be seen again. The hunter, meanwhile, has felt something hard (ahem) beneath him, and scrabbles in the leaves to unearth a metal pod. The Dramatic Strings are all, spooky! While the Dramatic Strings continue their foolishness, the hunter has found and opened a hatch in the pod. He pulls out a satchel as the Dramatic Strings get frisky with Ominous Drums, and then the hunter sees a mummified corpse in the pod, accompanied by some golf clubs, which is a sure sign of evil. Golf sucks. The hunter howls in fright and skitters away, as the Dramatic Strings, also freaked out by the Evil Golf Clubs, hurl us, panting with terror at the thought of golf, into the credits.

Squad room. Gibbs, scarfing coffee as is his wont, wanders out of the elevator. Kate is standing at her desk, reading some papers, and Tony is seated at his desk and wearing his hardly-ever-seen glasses and working the whole Clark Kent look. Gibbs tells the kids to grab their gear, and Tony eagerly snatches off his glasses as Kate wonders where they are off to. Gibbs tells them they are off to St Mary's River State Park. I pause to wonder whether any of these locations are real, decide I can't be assed looking it up, and remind myself that I am not watching a documentary. The Dramatic Strings cue themselves up as Gibbs points out the location of the park on the plasma. I drool over the plasma while Tony notes that the park is in Maryland. I have no idea why that might be important, because the audience probably doesn't care that much. Then I slap myself for wondering about small irrelevancies and get back to the recap. While I have been so occupied, Tony has been blathering about the fastest way to get there and directions thereto, and Kate finally decides to start up the exposition, wondering what's in the park. While the Dramatic Strings mutter in the background, Gibbs executes a neat doe-si-doe with the exposition while telling us that a deer hunter found an aircraft drop tank. I like pod better, because it's easier to type. Gibbs continues that the pod has Navy markings. Tony wonders why they are driving to Maryland to look at a pod. Gibbs informs him that the pod had a body inside. Tony thinks that's a good enough reason. Gibbs parcels out chores to the kids, telling Kate to pick up Ducky and Tony to gas up the truck. Tony predictably whines. Gibbs predictably tells him to cram it.

Park. We pan over a small bunch of cars parked in a clearing while some random cop wanders around the cars. Cut to a pair of feet. Excellent. Ducky, Gibbs and the gang wander through the woods as some cop/ranger tells us again about the hunter finding the pod with the wicked toy surprise inside. The hunter and his crossbow have been lurking at the scene, and they stand up when Gibbs and gang arrive. Gibbs and the cop/ranger guy beat the exposition with a cudgel as they confirm, once again, that the hunter opened the hatch. Gibbs scans the sky above as the Dramatic Strings are all, dudes!! Run away from the killer golf clubs!! Nobody listens, and we get an overhead of the gang standing around the pod and looking down at the mummy. Unfortunately he's not played by a strangely hot South African guy, so I have very little interest in this scene. Of course, it could be the vodka and spa combination that has caused me to be distracted by everything else, ever, infinity, but I'm blaming it on the lack of beefy hot guys.

While I've been rambling, Kate wonders how the non-hot mummy got all mummified. Ducky explains that the tank must have been airtight, thus creating an hermetic environment. Kate snaps some pictures of Non-Hot Mummy as Tony continues, "No air, no bugs, no critters." Ducky wags his finger and adds, "And more important, no bacteria." Gibbs wonders if Ducky can estimate time of death. Ducky snarks at him, so Gibbs wanders off to chat to the hunter. The hunter apparently thought the pod was a missile or a bomb until he tapped it. Which is not what I would do if I thought I had stumbled across a large explosive device, but then I am considered a strange person in some circles. The hunter goes on to tell us that since the supposed missile or bomb did not explode in his face, but merely sounded hollow, he cleared the leaves and found the hatch. Kate continues to snap pictures and still looks cute in her cap as Ducky feels up Non-Hot Mummy while Gibbs wonders if the hunter's curiosity got to him. "Wouldn't yours?" wonders the hunter, and I have to admit, he's got a point. Gibbs smiles and agrees, and wonders if the hunter removed the flight bag from the pod. The hunter allows that he did, but says that he didn't touch anything else after he saw "King Tut". We'll stick to "Non-Hot Mummy" for the duration, if that's all right with everyone. And by everyone, I mean me, so we'll just move this crap right along. Gibbs nods and tells the hunter they'll need his prints for exclusionary purposes. The hunter is agreeable, and Gibbs wanders back to the group, where Kate is now photographing the flight bag. She identifies the bag as belonging to a "Lieutentant Commander Farnsworth." She wonders if that's who Non-Hot Mummy is, but Gibbs doesn't know, and tells her to bag the, uh, bag. Ducky announces that he can't do much more with the body until it's out of the pod. Tony announces that he knows what the pod is. Ducky and Gibbs shoot him a look while Gibbs duhs, "External fuel tank?" Gibbs, quit shooting down the exposition. God knows the poor thing is battered enough as it is, and we vodka soaked audience types appreciate the explanation. Fortunately, Tony agreeably continues. "370 gallon external fuel tank off an F-14 Tomcat. A few were converted into camera or cargo pods. This one's a cargo pod." Thanks, Tony. Kate pretends to be impressed with Tony's knowledge, and Tony grandly informs her that he didn't become an NCIS agent yesterday. He nudges Gibbs that tomorrow ... "It'll have been two years," Gibbs finishes for him. Tony is touched that Gibbs remembers. Gibbs snarks that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Heh. Last Friday it was one year since I started working in my current team. I'm pretty sure my practitioners would say exactly the same thing, and in exactly the same tone of voice. But enough about me. Gibbs asks Ducky if he can touch Non-Hot Mummy. Ducky assents, and Gibbs leans in to examine Non-Hot Mummy. He finds a metal insignia thingy on Non-Hot Mummy's collar. No, I have no idea what that thing is called, but if some knowledgeable person stumbles across this site and actually decides to read this, feel free to leave a comment and let me know. Gibbs does tell us that the metal thingy means that Non-Hot Mummy is a Lieutenant, which means that he is not the owner of the flight bag. Kate wonders if Gibbs can see any dog tags. Gibbs replies in the negative, and tells the gang to get a flatbed to transport the pod. After a pointed look from Gibbs, Kate remembers what happened in Seadog, and snipply notes that Gibbs is going to "suggest" that she ride in the flatbed with the driver. Gibbs smirks that it wasn't a suggestion, and Kate takes one last snap for the road.

Garage. Various extras scurry about as the Dramatic Strings continue to freak out about the golf clubs. I hear ya, Dramatic Strings. Sparks fly as Abby hacks away at the pod with a circular saw. Her hair is still looking good, by the way. I'll take this opportunity to note that Tony's hair is ass, unfortunately. Anyway, Gibbs wonders if Abby found any prints other than the hunter's on the pod. She found some partial prints on this inside of the hatch, but they don't think they belong to the Non-Hot Mummy. Presumably that's because they are assuming that Non-Hot Mummy was dead when he went into the hatch, otherwise there would be a damn good likelihood that his prints would indeed be on the inside of the hatch. Gibbs instructs Abby to run the prints through the military database. Abby assents, and helpfully notes that she found a serial number on the bottom of the pod. It's a little worn, but Abby is confident she can bring it up. Gibbs is pleased. "Good. If that tank came off a Tomcat, somebody filed a TFOA report." Kate wonders what "TFOA" means. Tony informs her that it means "Things falling off aircraft." Kate is all, seriously? So was I. That's hilarious. Gibbs assures her that it is so, and I take a moment to note that I love military acronyms. Gibbs tells her that "Squadrons have kept files on those, going back to biplanes." Love.

Meanwhile, Abby has finished futzing with the pod, and the gang gather round to pull the top off, Abby gleefully rubbing her hands in anticipation. Heh. The lid is hauled off, and the Dramatic Strings get scared by the golf clubs, again, some more, and skitter off into a corner. "Sailor on a half-shell!" exclaims Abby, much to Ducky's eyerolling irritation. Kate snaps some more photos as Ducky gets going with stories of Egyptian mummification. He notes that the Egyptians buried their mummies with "personal treasures to accompany them on the journey to the afterlife." He examines the golf clubs, and since he is Scottish, is clearly less frightened by them than the Dramatic Strings and I are. Tony jokes about Non-Hot Mummy squeezing in "an 18 now and then" after death. Kate notes that Non-Hot Mummy is not wearing shoes, and Tony snarks that he kicks his shoes off when he flies. Kate smirks and continues photographing. Meanwhile, Gibbs has finally found Non-Hot Mummy's dog tags, which identify him as "Lieutenant Mark Schilz". Kate says that he's not the golfer, as the Clubs of Doom belong to "Lieutenant Lynch". While this has been going on, Ducky has discovered that Non-Hot Mummy is wearing a wedding band. Kate snaps some more photos, as Gibbs sums it all up for us, in case we passed out from the drinking: They have a name, serial number, the TFOA report will lead them to the plane and the squadron. "And we'll crack the secret of the mummy's curse in no time!" sings Abby. Hee. Ducky sighs and snits at her, but Abby is unrepentant. The Dramatic Strings of Geez, Ducky Has A Pole Up His Ass Today escort us into the next scene.

Squad room. Kate tosses a file on Gibbs' desk, and informs him that it's Non-Hot Mummy's service record. Apparently, he was reported missing at sea off the Eisenhower. Gibbs tells her to amend the record, as Non-Hot Mummy is no longer missing. Kate continues, informing Gibbs that the Eisenhower was a day out of Norfolk at the end of a six month deployment in the Mediterranean, and that he went missing on March 4, 1994. Non-Hot Mummy was declared a deserter 30 days later and received a dishonourable discharge. Gibbs wonders about that, and Kate continues her exposition tango, noting that Non-Hot Mummy was charged in absentia with theft of government property. "The cargo pod," Gibbs suggests wryly, but no. "$1.2 million out of the Eisenhower's safe," Kate tells him. Non-Hot Mummy was the disbursing officer on the ship. Gibbs wanders over to read the file over Kate's shoulder as Tony waltzes into the squad room, bellowing about his "three riveting hours" spent poring through TFOA reports. He triumphantly begins to explain that he found the aircraft that dropped the pod, but has the wind promptly taken out of his sails as Gibbs and Kate begin reciting the information gleaned from Non-Hot Mummy's service record. Tony gets all creeped out as he thinks they're psychic, or something. They do inform us that Lieutenant Commander Farnsworth was the pilot of the aircraft in question, and Kate mock-reports, "Good news, Commander. It took 10 years but we located your luggage." Heh. Tony, attempting to come up with useful information, tells them that the Clubs of Doom belonged to Lieutenant Lynch, which we actually already knew, but what we didn't know was that Lieutenant Lynch was Farnsworth's "RIO." Kate helpfully demands an explanation of that acronym, which Tony tells us means "Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBS, one 'B'. Short for 'Guy in Back'." Kate wonders why Gibbs needs two "B's". Gibbs, not missing a beat, tells her the second one stands for "Bastard". Ha! Cheap joke, but I like it. Then again, I've also consumed vast quantities of vodka, so don't mind me. Where was I? Right. Gibbs wonders what other information Tony has, and Tony tells him that the VF-212 flew off the Eisenhower for Pax River the day before "she" docked at Norfolk. There is some blather between Kate and Tony about why the ship is called "she" when it's named after Dwight Eisenhower, but it's not funny, even to me right now, and it's not important and I've just wasted far too much time talking about it as it is. Anyway, Gibbs notes that the VF-212's flight path took them over lower Maryland. Tony, over at the plasma, says that that is where they lost the pod. Since no-one on the ground "reported being whacked on the head", the Navy did a half-assed search and wrote it off. Gibbs asks if this was in the spring of 1994. Tony laughs and comes up with various ways Gibbs might know that, until Kate tells him about the service record. Gibbs and Kate fill Tony in on the whole money-stealing disbursing officer caper, and Gibbs expresses doubt about Non-Hot Mummy attempting to escape in the pod, saying that the air is "cold and thin at 30,000 feet. He'd know that." Then he wonders where the money is, noting that it wasn't in the pod or Abby would be up there having hysterics. Or suddenly tendering her resignation. Kate tells Gibbs that the money was never found. Gibbs assigns chores to the kids: Tony is to find the onboard NCIS special agent from 1994, and Kate is to track down the wife. Gibbs heads off, as Ducky's voice over takes us to the morgue.

Morgue. Ducky describes the Non-Hot Mummy as "20 to 25, approximately 5'7". The facial bone structure indicates Nordic descent." Gibbs and Ducky hover over Non-Hot Mummy's autopsy table, and Gibbs flips his folder open to confirm that Ducky's assessment matches Non-Hot Mummy's description. Gibbs notes that Non-Hot Mummy joined up before the DNA database was intitated, and we get a Non-Hot Mummy POV as Ducky leans over and tells Non-Hot Mummy that he'll have to be identified by his "smile." Ducky turns back to Gibbs to note that Non-Hot Mummy was in "remarkable" condition, all things considered. His jaw was fractured, post-mortem, by a Nine Iron of Doom, or possibly a Sand Wedge of Doom. Gibbs couldn't give a rat's ass about the post-mortem stuff, he just wants to know how Non-Hot Mummy died. Ducky chides him for this, reminding him of a case four years ago "where the young marine was buried in an anthill up to his neck." Now, that is a story I want to hear. Unfortunately, Gibbs puts a stop to this. "Duck, eight years ago." There is an amusing bit where Ducky misinterprets this as Gibbs meaning the anthill thing was eight years ago. "Four years ago, your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat." Hee! Hee hee hee. Gibbs rolls his eyes in exasperation at this, where I'm still giggling. I'd like to take this opportunity to assure my husband that I have no plans in that direction, by the way. Yet. Anyway, Ducky continues, "And I distinctly remember the ant-eaten marine on that table there when I stitched you up." Gibbs has meanwhile slung an arm around Ducky to steer him back to the table where Non-Hot Mummy rests, and I attempt to stop cackling. Gibbs takes a deep breath and attempts to hold on to the shreds of his patience. He pointedly asks, "Ducky. How did [Non-Hot Mummy]. Die." Ducky informs him that Non-Hot Mummy bled to death. He found "massive internal haemorrhaging," but he doesn't know what caused it. He thinks that "something quite small punctured the chest cavity," but he has to do a CAT scan. Gibbs wonders if that injury couldn't have happened in the pod, but Ducky firmly insists that it didn't. Gibbs realises that Non-Hot Mummy was murdered and then stuffed in the pod. But ... I thought that was why they were so convinced that the prints inside the pod weren't Non-Hot Mummy's? Guh. More vodka. The Dramatic Strings wake up long enough to hurl us all bodily back up to ...

... the squad room. Gibbs is toting another coffee cup, and Kate is convinced that it must be decaf. Gibbs assures us all that he is not a decaf drinking wimp, and Kate wonders if he doesn't get twitchy. Silly Kate. Coffee is to Gibbs as spinach is to Pop-Eye. Now that we've established that Gibbs is a coffee fanatic, we move on to more relevant chatter. Kate is still searching for Mrs Non-Hot Mummy's address, and Gibbs speculates that Non-Hot Mummy must have had an accomplice in his thieving, and that his accomplice decided that he didn't want to share the loot and must have murdered him. Kate wonders if Non-Hot Mummy couldn't have suprised a thief in the act and then been murdered, since she's the soft hearted,naive girl. Gibbs disagrees, since the murderer would then have had to carry the body from the disbursing office to the pod, and it would have been impossible to hide since the ship had 6,000 people on board. Mrs Non-Hot Mummy's address decides to pop up on screen at this point. Mrs Non-Hot Mummy is "remarried and living in Arlington." Kate leaps to her feet and Gibbs unnecessarily instructs Kate to go see her.

Meanwhile Tony is returning from ... wherever, and wonders if it was something he said. This is so they can set up the "joke" running throughout this scene, and if it's all the same to you, I'm going to ignore it. Because it's not funny, even to someone who has consumed vast quantities of ... oh, forget it. Anyway, Tony plants himself in front of Gibbs' desk, sighs and assumes a falsely pained expression. He "mopes" that they'll have to go to Hawaii, since the NCIS special agent onboard in 1994 is now stationed at Pearl Harbour. This guff goes on for far too long until Gibbs shuts down Tony's crap by glaring, and Tony suggests videoconferencing. They get to more relevant blather, as Tony wonders if Gibbs knows the agent ("Richard Owens"). Gibbs does not. Tony must be hungy, because he swallows his foot with one gulp by noting that it's not surprising Gibbs and Owens don't know each other, since Owens is "considerably" younger than Gibbs. Gibbs, upon hearing that Owens is currently 37, growls that "considerably" is not an accurate description. Tony fecklessly wonders how old Gibbs is. Gibbs growls menacingly that it doesn't matter how old he is. Tony foolishly continues in this vein for a bit, until Gibbs shuts him up by demanding to see the file. The Dramatic Strings of Wacky Ageing chime in as Gibbs attempts to read the file, and has to hold it at arms' length and close under his lamp to read it. Tony, clearly feeling extra stupid or suicidal today, points out that after 40, the eyesight is the first thing to go. The Dramatic Strings of Wacky Ageing continue as Gibbs shoots Tony a Look of Death, shutting Tony up, and haltingly reads aloud from the file: "Night of the robbery, there was a report of a man overboard." Gibbs' delivery is stiled, intercut with some stammering and peering, and Tony attempting to restrain himself from making a fatal remark, and I chuckle in spite of myself. Or because of the ... nevermind. "Aft watch spotted a life vest beacon in the carrier wake," Gibbs continues, wisely ignoring me, Tony and the Dramatic Strings of Wacky Ageing. "[Non-Hot Mummy's] shoes were found in the fold full of scrapped life vests." Tony jumps in here, noting that the Navy presumed that Non-Hot Mummy robbed the disbursing office, faked falling overboard and then hid out until the carrier docked. The Dramatic Strings have switched off the "wacky" during this part of the exposition, signifiying possible relevant information. Or a red herring. Gibbs wonders how shoes in the hold led to that conclusion. Tony tells him that it was because of Owens' notes, which are located at the back of the file. Gibbs glares at Tony and flips to the back of the file. The Dramatic Strings switch back to "wacky" as Gibbs futzes with the file and moves the lamp around, then continues reading. "[Non-Hot Mummy] must have eluded the night watch and slipped over the side without his shoes to swim ashore." Gibbs hurls the file, exasperated, at Tony and rubs his eyes. "Eye strain," Tony foolishly notes, as the Dramatic Strings of Wacky Ageing and Dude, He Is So Going to KILL YOU play out on the soundtrack. Gibbs glares, again, some more, as the Dramatic Strings decide they've had enough of this crap and escort us to Mrs Non-Hot Mummy's house.

The Dramatic Strings tell us this is a poignant scene, as Mrs Non-Hot Mummy tells us, "Losing [Non-Hot Mummy] at sea was bad enough," as she flips through a photo album, so we can all connect with her loss and feel sad for her, or some shit like that, "but to have him accused of stealing money." Kate watches as Mrs Non-Hot Mummy brings over a tray of tea, because you drink tea when you visit the bereaved. Dudes. Alcohol is best when dealing with the bereaved. Trust me, I know. Anyway, Kate apologises for dredging up a sore subject. Mrs Non-Hot Mummy, a pleasant but bland blonde, demurs, insisting that at least the discovery of her husband's body will put an end to "the vicious gossip." She is clearly convinced of her husband's innocence, and naively believes that finding Non-Hot Mummy will be enough to clear him. Poor, silly Mrs Non-Hot Mummy. Mrs N-HM continues, "There was a rumour that he had started a new life with money and a new woman," as she pours tea. TEA. God. That would be enough for me to abscond with stolen money to start up with someone else, let me tell you. Er. Nevermind. Meanwhile, Kate tactfully asks if there was any basis to that rumour. Mrs N-HM takes this question relatively well, telling Kate that they had only been married a year, so it was a little soon for that sort of thing. Kate agrees that it doesn't seem likely. "No more likely than his being a thief," insists Mrs N-HM. She continues in this vein, insisting that Non-Hot Mummy was a good man and loooooved the Navy. Dude. EVERYONE loves the military on this show. Like, is Bellisario getting kickbacks from the military? Perhaps as a recruiting tool? Or maybe not, since so many military people die horribly on the show, as well as the love part. Where was I? Right, vodka. I mean, recap. Anyway, Mrs N-HM is all excited, as surely Non-Hot Mummy will be cleared now, right? Kate non-committally tells her that the investigation has been reopened. Mrs N-HM persists, saying that whoever took the money murdered Non-Hot Mummy. Kate says that's "a very real possibility." She should work for the UN, you guys! Mrs N-HM continues with the naive spouse thing, positing that surely "he wouldn't have even been in that tank unless someone put him there." Kate smiles kindly and changes the subject, asking about Mrs N-HM's new marriage. Mrs N-HM says that after six years, she had Non-Hot Mummy declared dead. "Randy helped me move on." Randy? Ha! Hahahahaha!!! Ahem. Sorry. Mrs Randy (what? It's easier to type!) bitches that the Navy didn't send a flag for Non-Hot Mummy's memorial service. But what really chaps her hide is that because of the dishonourable discharge, she is not entitled to benefits. She insists that she doesn't mind so much for herself, but the money would be really useful to send her kid to college. Because God knows American kiddies can use all the education they can get. Oh, ow! Sorry! Sorry, I have no idea where that came from. Kate is all sympathetic. You know she's going to be all gung-ho for Non-Hot Mummy's innocence now, right? Right. Anyway, the Dramatic Strings finally wake up as Mrs Randy tells us that Non-Hot Mummy called the morning her kid, Alicia (aw) was born, and that was the last time she spoke to him. It was also the day Non-Hot Mummy disappeared. Hmm. Do the Dramatic Strings think this is poignant, or a plot point?

The Dramatic Strings shut up long enough for us to stumble over to MTAC, where Gibbs and Tony are videoconferencing with Agent Owens, who ruefully admits he "would never have guessed [Non-Hot Mummy] flew off that ship." Gibbs rather acidly notes that he doesn't think it was [Non-Hot Mummy's] idea. Owens reiterates that he was sure Non-Hot Mummy swum ashore with the cash. Owens is also wearing an Hawaiian shirt, so he is clearly lacking in credibility. Owens bitches that that case is the "only blotch on [his] record for 12 years." Gibbs is still in pissy mode, and notes that it didn't "do much for [Non-Hot Mummy's] record, either," as Tony resists the urge to smirk. Heh. That's pretty much all Tony does in this scene - try not to laugh as Owens gets a Very Special Gibbs Smackdown. Owens insists that Non-Hot Mummy stole the money. Gibbs bitchily wonders where the hell the money is, then. Owens doesn't know, but it sure as hell isn't on the carrier. "We searched every inch of it for him and the cash." Gibbs is mystified. The Eisenhower apparently docked the next day, so Owens couldn't have searched for all that long. Owens pretends not to recall how long they searched. Tony, reading the file, mutters "Two days," at Gibbs. Aw, teamwork! Gibbs wonders who searched. The entire crew, says Owens. It was like a treasure hunt! Whee! Owens gets pissy. Gibbs wonders "how [Owens] managed to search every inch of a 95,000 ton, 24 storey tall, 1,094 foot long aircraft carrier in two days." Heh. During this spiel, Tony is trying not to crack up and simultaneously conceal his amazement at the statistics, and Owens is getting shifty. Owens protests that they couldn't keep the crew longer than two days. They'd been at sea for six months, so presumably they had other things on their minds, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. "Their families were waiting dockside," growls Owens. Oh. That's not what I meant. Well, kinda. Nevermind. Gibbs chews him out because he clearly didn't search "every inch", and that as far as Owens knows, the money could still be on board. Owens asserts that it isn't. "Another assumption, Agent Owens?" bites Gibbs. Owens attempts to shut Gibbs down. Gibbs responds by noting that the Eisenhower will be back in Norfolk for weekend liberty. "Be there. 0700, Saturday," he orders. Heh. There goes his weekend in Hawaii! Owens attempts to protest, but Gibbs cuts him off and storms off, followed by Tony. Tony wants to know how Gibbs knew all the dimensions of the carrier. "Read 'em," Gibbs replies airily. Hee.

Garage. Abby is standing by the pod, which has been put back together so that Abby could study it in one piece. She's found "something hinky." She explains that the pod is attached to the Tomcat by way of two metal hooks. When the pilot wants to drop the pod, he flips a switch and the hooks disengage. Abby explains further that "the forward and aft ejectors fire and kick it off the wing." Tony says that according to the TFOA report, the pilot didn't flip the switch. He wonders if the pilot lied. He did not, says Abby. "If he had popped it, the ejectors would have made dents in the pod." There are no such dents. Tony muses, over some stock footage of the pod falling to earth, that if Non-Hot Mummy had been alive when the pod went flying, it would have been one hell of a ride. Abby and Gibbs pull faces at each other and say something in sign language. Tony bitches. Abby tells Gibbs to check out the holes. Gibbs notes that the holes are scratched. Abby explains that to remove a pod on deck, "you insert a key into the MXU rack and turn it." She continues that if you turned the key part way, that would leave the pod hanging by the tips of the hooks on the rack ... "It should tear loose on the cat shot and leave marks like these on the holes," finishes Gibbs. Don't ask me what a cat shot is. My cat, sitting on my feet as I type, glared at Gibbs when he said that, by the way. True story. Anyway, Abby gets all gleeful. "Except, the Mummy's curse was working, so the tips held on to the pod until it was over Maryland." Tony reminds her that there was no mummy 10 years ago, so how was there a curse. Yeah, and I thought it was eight years ago? Hi, writers? If my drunken ass can pick that up, how did you presumably sober people miss it? Not to mention, according to IMDB, this episode aired 14 October 2003. So, that's nine and a half years, at most. Shut up, writers. Anway, Abby tells Tony that the curse is a chicken and egg thing.

Kate chooses this moment to burst out of the elevator, babbling excitedly about her visit to Mrs Randy and their adorable child. There is some predictable horndog action from Tony when he hears that Mrs Randy was "beautiful." Kate bitches, also predictably. She says the kid is nine years old. Okay, I'll let them have that one. Anyway, Gibbs gets things back on track, asking Kate for her report. Kate excitedly tells him about the call to Mrs Randy from the carrier. Kate exposits, as the Dramatic Strings burble in the background, that Mrs Randy gave birth at Bethseda Naval Hospital. Gibbs notes that it was a big deal to call home from a ship in '94. Therefore, there will be a record of the call. Kate has already looked into this. She has found a record of Non-Hot Mummy calling the hospital from the Eisenhower "at 0533 on the fourth of March, 1994, and the call lasted 12 minutes." Gibbs asks Tony what time "the schmuck's" (heh) report says the robbery took place. Tony replies that it happened between "2100 hours, March 3, when the office was secured, and 0700 on the fourth." Kate is crestfallen that the call did not clear Non-Hot Mummy after all, while Tony continues that the safe was opened by the assistant disbursing officer, Ensign Wiles. This surprises Kate. "Wiles? Randy Wiles?" Tony laughs, saying she won't fool him this time. "You read this report," he says. "No, Mrs [Randy] told you." Kate is all, yeah, actually. But! It turns out that Mrs Randy did not know that Randy (snicker) was her husband's shipmate. The Dramatic Strings are intrigued.

The Dramatic Strings are excited, for they are getting some Eisenhower action. Stock footage of cranes, uh, doing craney stuff on a big damn ship. Tony is writing some notes as Owens bitches about the cold. Then he bitches about Gibb's apparent tardiness. Dude, don't do that. Gibbs could materialise right behind you! But he doesn't. Tony isn't paying much attention, and upon closer inspection, actually appears to be doing a crossword. Owens bitches and bitches and whines some more, until he foolishly says "It's like I'm cursed." Tony is amused, and babbles about Abby, and how she's goth, while Owens glares. Tony abruptly changes the subject, wondering how old Owens thinks Gibbs is. Owens couldn't give a rat's ass, and wow, that was a pointless scene.

Firing range. Yeah, baby. We hear someone yell "Pull!" and I snicker like the gutter-minded former Catholic schoolgirl I am. The shooter, who we quickly discover is Randy, hits his target and Gibbs appears behind him, complimenting his shooting. Randy wonders if Gibbs and Kate are there to shoot. "I hope not," smiles Gibbs, identifying himself and Kate. "Randy Wiles?" wonders Gibbs. His tone leads me to think Gibbs thinks that's a stupid name, too. Randy turns to head inside, as Kate asks "Formerly Ensign Randy Wiles?" Randy says that he saw the news, and that he already told everything he knows about Non-Hot Mummy "years ago". Thank God he didn't put a number there. Gibbs points out that Randy didn't tell anyone that he was going to marry Non-Hot Mummy's wife. The Dramatic Strings are curious about that, too. Randy is nervous. "You talked to [Mrs Randy]?" Kate says that she did, and finds it odd that Mrs Randy never mentioned that Randy and Non-Hot Mummy were shipmates. Randy admits that Mrs Randy never knew that, and walks behind the counter of the shop. Gibbs is incredulous. Randy says they met at Non-Hot Mummy's memorial service. "What did you say?" Gibbs wonders sarcastically, "'I was passing by, dug the music, decided to drop in'?" Heh. Randy lamely admits that that was essentially it. Huh. I'd be skeeved by that myself, but perhaps it's an American thing. Randy says that he feared that if Mrs Randy knew that he knew Non-Hot Mummy, she would ask questions he couldn't answer. "Bounce," says Kate. Yeah, pretty much, says Randy. Gibbs is all, the hell? Kate explains the plot, which I'm not going to bother with, because I hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Macrobiotic moron. Who calls their kid "Apple", for crying out loud? Is she secretly a bogan? Why am I asking stupid questions? Anyway, once Kate finishes her mercifully brief recap of the film, Randy says "That's what happened to me." Kate believes him. Gibbs is dismissive. "Of course you believe him, it's a chick flick." Ha! Kate eyerolls as Gibbs continues, "In a guy flick, you steal the money, you set [Non-Hot Mummy] up to take the fall, you murder him and you marry his wife." Randy thinks that's sick. So does Kate. Her disgusted expression amuses me. Gibbs patiently explains to her that once she has been on the job "more than a month" she will figure out there are many sick people around. Considering she was in the Secret Service, she's coming across as pretty damn naive. I blame the writers. Anyway, Gibbs asks "Are you one of those [sickos], Randy?" Hee. His delivery of the name is hilarious. He really hates that name. Randy protests that his day job is managing the firing range, by night he's a freelance accountant. He and the wife are renting, Alicia attends public school and he has a crappy old car. "Now, do you think I'd live like that if I had a million bucks?" Gibbs concedes that Randy was better off in the Navy. Randy is all, pffft. The Navy cleared him of involvement, but they didn't trust him. Gibbs changes the subject, asking about the disbursing clerk, Petty Officer Toner. Toner?? Well, we know what her nickname is going to be. Anyway, Gibbs notes that she also left the Navy. "They pass her over?" he wants to know. "Erin enlisted to catch an officer," Randy says disdainfully. Gibbs and Kate exchange a Look.

"[Photocopier] was a hottie, if you know what I mean," voice overs Owens as we cut back to the Eisenhower. Owens and Tony are going down some stairs to ... somewhere, presumably the disbursing office. Gibbs has now teleported on board, and wonders if Owens investigated the hottie. "It's in my report," says Owens shortly. "So was the assumption that [Non-Hot Mummy] left his shoes on board so he could swim ashore," Gibbs replies pointedly. They all choose this moment so a sailor dragging a bright orange mailbag can get through the doorway. Did you see that? Bright orange bag? Dragged over a kneeknocker? Do you think that might be important later? Anyway, Owens bitches that that wasn't in his report. No, says Gibbs, but it was in his notes. Owens bitches, some more, that he didn't think the Navy would be reading his notes. "You didn't think about anything except getting ashore," Gibbs snots back. Owens protests that Gibbs is being unfair. Gibbs thinks that there is nothing fair about convicting a guy "in absentia" for a sloppy investigation. Owens does not back down, insisting that Non-Hot Mummy was the only one who could have committed the robbery. Randy was in an all-night poker game, and "Erin" was in her quarters. Gibbs silently note the use of Photocopier's first name, as Tony wonders how Owens is so sure. Owens explains that that was the first cruise where females were deployed at sea. "If they weren't in chow or at work, they were in female country. The Navy ran that area like it was a sorority," he says, "No men allowed." Gibbs is not letting Owens off the hook, betting that Owens merely took her word for it. "How many women got pregnant on that cruise?" he wonders snidely. Heh. Apparently, the answer to that is "quite a few". Tony guesses that "the house mothers weren't on top of the log book." Heh. Kate interrupts the proceedings by calling Gibbs from her car, letting Gibbs know that Farnsworth and Lynch "died in a ramp strike two years ago. I won't say it sounds like Abby's curse of the mummy, but ..." Heh. Gibbs rightly notes that if they were still in the Navy two years ago, they weren't involved in the robbery. There is a bit of back and forth about whether they were Non-Hot Mummy's accomplices or killers, with Kate of course being of the view that Non-Hot Mummy was innocent. She wants him cleared so that Mrs Randy and Alicia can get "the death benefits they deserve." Gibbs is all, Jesus, you soft bitch. Heh. Anyway, he wants to know where Photocopier is these days. Kate has tracked her down to West Chester, PA, and is on her way to have a girly chat. Gibbs abruptly hangs up on her, and bitches at Tony to not even dream of mentioning the curse. Tony insists that he wouldn't. Owens, probably relieved to have the heat momentarily off of him, points out Tony did in fact mention it. Heh.

Cut to a golf club. Auuugh! Anyway, Photocopier, wearing a stupid golfing outfit, flirtily compliments some old guy on his swing, and goes to tee off, wriggling her miniskirted ass at the guys as she does so. Tramp. Kate wanders up and yells her name just as she swings, distracting her. Photocopier bitches. Kate smiles sweetly. Heh. Catfight! Old guy snits at Kate, wondering how the hell she got in to their little hellhole, I mean, golf club. Kate flashes her badge and gun.

We then teleport over to a cafe area as Photocopier expresses shock that Non-Hot Mummy has been dead all this time. I mean, "shock". She's so syrupy I'm going into a diabetic coma just listening to her. "I always imagined him on some beach in Mexico, sipping margaritas." Mmm, margaritas. I nearly had one just last night, but the bar staff at the little pub I was at didn't know what they were. Ha! Fortunately they did know what a vodka and tonic was. Jesus. Anyway, Kate gives her the fisheye, asking if Photocopier believes Non-Hot Mummy stole the loot. Photocopier is all, who else? Since he and Randy were the only ones with the combination, and Randy was playing poker all night and all. Kate reaches for her waterglass, dropping the lemon slice into it and noting that if that's the case, then Non-Hot Mummy's accomplice made off with the money instead. She gives Photocopier a pointed look, and Photocopier smirks around her straw. She notes that Kate is hardly being subtle here. She points out that Kate has seen her house, which is apparently "nice," and there's the country club, "also nice," and she didn't marry money. She takes the opportunity to smile at a passing "gentleman", and adds smugly, "Yet." Well, she's honest about the greed, I'll give her that. Anyway, Photocopier points out that she also didn't inherit anything from the "losers in [her] family," so therefore it's easy to assume she must have stolen the money. "Well, either that or you won the lottery," laughs Kate. Photocopier fake laughs back. "$2 million," she leers. Kate is all, the hell? Photocopier pulls out a laminated ticket, which she carries for good luck. Kate rightly points out that Photocopier could easily have laminated a losing ticket. Photocopier fake laughs some more. "Come on home with me, honey," she says patronisingly. "I'll show you the write-up from the Canton Gazette. It was too big to laminate though. I had to have it framed." Kate stares at her. "Let's go," she says. The smirk slips a little from Photocopier's face, as an anvil hurtles through my roof to crash to the floor, scaring the hell out of the cat. Damn. I don't think my insurance covers that.

Meanwhile, Abby has wandered into the morgue, spotted Ducky with a golf club and bellows, "Fore!" Ducky ducks for cover. She giggles as he scolds her. Abby apologises, as she didn't realise he would freak out. "Well, it's an automatic reflex when one is a golfer, Abigail," Ducky barks. Abby resents being called Abigail. "Then don't yell 'fore' when I have a niblick in my hand," snits Ducky. Abby and I wonder what the hell a niblick is, with Abby thinking it sounds like a "sex act". Heh. I pause to wonder what kind, and have to immediately pour bleach in my ear. While I'm so occupied, Ducky chuckles that "that's what [he] thought when [he] first heard the term. A niblick is what a nine iron used to be called when golf was the province of Scottish nobles, not the democratic "lovely walk spoiled" by the weekend duffers." I learn so much trivia watching this show. Ducky mimes a swing as Abby wonders if Non-Hot Mummy was killed "by a niblick to the kidney." Nope, says Ducky. According to the CAT scan, he was killed by a "puncture wound to the chest cavity, caused by a thin, sharp object that perforated the pericardial sac and then penetrated the heart." Just say he was stabbed, for God's sake. Abby wonders what he's up to with the niblick, then. Ducky explains that he's trying to figure out what caused certain "hair fractures to the pelvis and lumbar vertebrae," but he doesn't think that the niblick did it. Don't be so sure. Golf is evil, I tell you! Abby wonders if it was the fall and subsequent crash. Ducky says no. He found faint traces of bleeding on the CAT scan, so the injuries occurred either right before or right after death. He wonders if Abby didn't find anything in the relevant areas of Non-Hot Mummy's uniform. Abby did not, but admits that she wasn't looking that hard. Sloppy, Abby. Very sloppy. Of course, if she wasn't, the episode would have been over a couple of scenes ago. Ducky suggests she "look closely, my dear." Abby leans in and purrs, "Of course, my darling." There is much grinning and wriggling of eyebrows. I just wish he would stop waving that damn golf club around.

Eisenhower. Disbursing office. Some guy with glasses is making a withdrawal as he notes that the robbery is a "legend" on the ship, and that the possibility of the money still being on the ship will spark something of a treasure hunt. Dude. Stop stealing my lines. He wanders off as Gibbs asks Owens if being there brings back fond memories. It does not, apparently. We have a flashback montage as Owens voices over that the safe hadn't been jimmied, as flashback Owens examines the safe. Owens VO continues as we see him questioning Randy and Photocopier, with Photocopier smirking (natch) seductively and Owens eyeing her appreciatively. Apparently they confirmed that nothing was missing but the cash. Gibbs finally calls Owens on his use of Photocopier's first name, wondering if something was going on between them. Owens denies this emphatically. Tony points out that Owens called her "a hottie." Owens reminds Gibbs that they "aren't allowed to fraternise with enlisted females, you know that." Gibbs beats Owens over the head with, "You're not allowed to put assumptions in reports, either." Owens barely restrains the eyeroll as he snits that Gibbs has made his point. The Dramatic Strings finally come back to us as Owens admits that he blew it, but insists he wasn't "screwing around with Erin. She had something going on with one of the airmen." Ding! Gibbs smirks. "That wasn't in your report." "It didn't seem relevant," Owens replies, with an hilarious, "oh, fuck. Me" tone of voice as he takes in Gibbs' and Tony's expressions. "Name," says Gibbs quietly. "Martinez. Petty Officer Ted Martinez," says Owens. Tony oozes over to some blonde at a workstation and "charmingly" eases her out of her chair so he can use her computer. She smiles giddily and complies. Bint. Tony taps away as Owens wonders if Gibbs thinks Martinez is involved. Gibbs doesn't know, but "since it was his hottie working here, you should have looked into him." Owens sighs. "You're right, sir," he says shamefacedly. "Do not 'sir' me. I work for a living," mutters Gibbs. Heh. However, he does seem to be satisfied that Owens has finally admitted his fuck up. Fortunately for Owens, Gibbs' phone rings again. It's Kate. She fills him in on Photocopier's luxury living and apparent lotto win. She's seen the ticket and newspaper clippings, and this part confuses me somewhat - don't those write ups usually say how much the person won? Perhaps Contrivance was the reporter who interviewed Photocopier. Anyway, Kate notes that the State Lottery Board is closed, but she intends to check first thing in the morning. Gibbs hangs up on her again. Kate is cranky.

Meanwhile, Tony's computer search has dug up some info on Martinez, and the Dramatic Strings are pleased. He's an "Aviation Machinist's Mate, Second Class. Honourable discharge June 2, 1994. A lot of sailors left the Navy in June of 94," Tony finishes, presumably referring to Randy and Photocopier. Gibbs notes that Martinez was "working the flight deck." "Petty Officer Second. Probably a plane captain," Owens says. Gibbs and Tony share a Meaningful Look. Owens wants to know what's up. Gibbs wonders who would have had the ability to "stuff a body into a cargo pod?" Anyone on the flight deck, says Owens. Gibbs wants to know who is most likely. "You're asking me to make an assumption, Agent Gibbs," snaps Owens. Heh. "I'm not asking you to write it down," growls Gibbs. Tony smirks. Owens complies. "The pilot, the RIO, the plane captain." Tony taps away some more as Gibbs leans over his shoulder. Tony tells Gibbs not to strain his eyes. Ha ha. Not. Gibbs agrees and headslaps him. Anyway, guess what? Martinez was the plane captain on the clumsy pod-dropping Tomcat. Dun!

Lab. Abby has found an orange fiber. Gosh, I wonder where that came from? Anyway, Gibbs enters and they establish that the fibers came from the areas on the uniform corresponding with Non-Hot Mummy's hairline fractures. They establish that it's a synthetic fiber, and wonder what's orange on a ship. A mailbag? No. They're thinking life vests. Sigh. Gibbs wonders if Abby matched the prints on the pod to Martinez. Yup, but one didn't. Abby is comparing it against all Navy personnel who served between 1990 and 1994. Gibbs wonders if a name and serial number would help with the matching process. Abby is all, well, DUH.

Squad room. Owens woahs at the gadgets. Gibbs enters and wonders why Owens is still there. Owens hems and haws, and basically admits he wants to help correct his fuck up. Gibbs asks him if he can use a database, and assigns him to tracking down Martinez. Tony protests that that is what he is doing. Gibbs doesn't care. He's going for coffee. Tony snarkily asks Owens if they have computers at Pearl. Owens blithely agrees, but they have them on the beach so they can surf during breaks. The thought of breaks, or surfing on breaks, is enough to make Tony shut up. Owens smiles and gets to work. Scene.

Squad room. Again. It's now day, and Kate enters with coffee, wondering at Owens' continued presence, while Gibbs and Tony snore away. Gibbs is woken by the scent of coffee, and asks what Owens has found. Tony wakes, his hair looking all kinds off ass, and Owens and Tony take turns rattling off Martinez's whereabouts since he left the Navy and generally acting like small boys. The Dramatic Strings are more amused by their antics than I am. The only really interesting details are that he was with a woman, and then he suddenly wasn't, and then he vanished. Gibbs tells them to check where he was from, as people often go home when they separate. Gibbs then departs to hit the head.

Lab. Gibbs stops in to check on Abby's progress with the print. And he's brought her coffee. Aw. Abby has not found a perfect match, but, "if my life depended on it, I'd say it was her right middle finder that made that." Hmm. Guess who? Gibbs is pleased. Meanwhile, Abby has established that the fiber is not from a life preserver as they are made from different material. Gibbs finally has a lightbulb moment, flashing back to the mailback being dragged over that kneeknocker. He tells Abby and bolts. Abby declares this to be "cool." I declare this to be "way overdue."

Squad room. Kate is on the phone to the Lottery Board. Gibbs returns as she finishes up her call, and as it happens, Photocopier DID hit the lottery: for $37,000. Nice! Kate is pleased, for now they know that Photocopier and Martinez stole the money, not Non-Hot Mummy. Tony reminds her that incriminating the other two means no such thing, as Non-Hot Mummy could have helped them. "She could've played him," Tony points out. Kate isn't having it. Tony tells her that unless they get a confession from Martinez or Photocopier, they can't exonerate Non-Hot Mummy. Kate is all, well, I'll just make them confess, damn it! Gibbs is sceptical. He wonders how she's going to pull that off. The Dramatic Strings want to know that, too. Kate doesn't know how she's going to do it. But she will! So, neener neener. And neener. Owens chooses this moment to join in, as he's just found out that Martinez was murdered in a Peidras Negras motel. "My God. She's a black widow," says Kate. Tony is confused, because Photocopier wasn't married. Everyone else glares until he gets it, then Gibbs breaks out into a grin, saying "We got her." He instructs Kate to go to Pennsylvania and bring Photocopier in. Kate is all, how? I can't arrest her, right? Gibbs is all, nope, sweetpea. Use your imagination, cause she's gotta come in voluntarily. Kate looks befuddled as the Dramatic Strings brace themselves before heading over to ...

... the Golf Course of Doom. Photocopier, in another stupid golf outfit, chuckles as she putts, wondering why she would "do that," by which I presume she means take a trip to NCIS Headquarters. Kate tells her they matched Martinez's prints to the pod, and "informing" Photocopier that Martinez was the captain of the Tomcat that dropped the pod. Photocopier too-casually wonders that they can get prints 10 years after the fact. Aaaauugh! Kate confirms this, and runs through the scenario they've come up with, leaving out the part about the accomplice, of course. Photocopier pretends to be vague on knowing Martinez. Kate explains that they think Martinez is hiding in Mexico, and they need Photocopier's help with a recreation of the crime to build a strong case for extradition. Photocopier wonders why they need her. Kate pretends they can't find Randy and Photocopier is the only other person who worked in disbursing. Photocopier smells a rat. Kate is all sweetness and light, claiming she merely wants to clear Non-Hot Mummy so Mrs Randy can get death benefits. Photocopier couldn't give a shit, and tells Kate they should play the lottery. Heh. She goes to stalk off, but Kate stops her, threatening to call her back to the Navy. Photocopier stops dead in her tracks, protesting that Kate can't do that. The Dramatic Strings are loving the bitchy smackdown, as Kate pulls some paper from her bag. "These are orders recalling you to active duty as a material witness in a capital offence." Photocopier glares as Kate continues, "All I gotta do is ink 'em, honey, and your ass is back in the Navy." Heh. Photocopier is wicked pissed.

Squad room. We see a digital recreation of stick figure Non-Hot Mummy on the phone to his wife. He performs a little heel-click after the call, which Abby threw in to indicate Non-Hot Mummy's excitement about fatherhood. Hee. They then run through stick figure Non-Hot Mummy being forced at knifepoint by stick figure Martinez to clear the safe, then being stabbed and stuffed in the pod. Kate wonders what Photocopier thinks. Photocopier has changed into a cleavage enhancing red dress, all the better to ensure we get that she's a naughty, manipulative lady. Anyway, Photocopier thinks they "could use some help from Disney." Oh, and you can pretty much assume she's sneering for most of her dialogue, by the way. Abby protests, saying she wasn't finished with it. Gibbs tells Photocopier that they wanted to make sure they had the right scenario first. Photocopier says it works for her. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for Gibbs. He's thinking that Non-Hot Mummy would have known that Martinez would kill him, so how did Martinez get him to walk quietly through those busy hallways to the flight deck? The Dramatic Strings of Geez, Lady, Just Confess Already, I'm About To Get Alcohol Poisoining cue up as Gibbs tells her, "Martinez had to kill him in disbursing. But, how did he move him to the pod if he was dead?" Photocopier's sneer slips a little. "He couldn't," she says. "Ah, but he could, my dear," Ducky tells her. He explains about the hairline fractures and the fibers. Gibbs says he saw an orange mailbag being dragged over kneeknockers when he visited the ship. He gives her a speculative look, but Photocopier is maintaining the sneer, as the plasma dings loudly, showing a fingerprint match. Gibbs glances at it and gestures dismissively, saying they'll get to that later. Heh. Evil bastard. They get back to it, with Gibbs expositing that if Martinez stuffed Non-Hot Mummy in a mailbag and dragged it across the ship, still somebody would have had to have noticed it. "And that's when I remembered how you used to turn heads when you walked by," Owens jumps in. Photocopier has had enough. "I'm outta here," she sneers (natch), jumping up from her chair and attempting to stomp off. Kate grabs her arm. "Not till the show's over," she says, shoving Photocopier back into her chair. Abby clicks the remote. A much more sophisticated animation appears of Photocopier walking down the hall, blowing kisses and generally providing a trampy distraction while Martinez drags the mailbag along. "Now, who would have noticed a sailor dragging a mailbag over kneeknockers with you walking by," Gibbs wonders. He smirks as Abby leans down and bitchily asks, "How was that animation?" Hee. Photocopier calmly says it was much better, but it's not evidence. She stands again, and threatens Kate with assault charges if she touches her again. Kate is all, whatever, skank. Photocopier also threatens to sue the rest of the gang for unlawful detainment. Gibbs is all, you're free to go, but as she stomps off, brings up the fingerprint. She pauses, and Gibbs confirms that it's hers. Photocopier is all, big whoop. So you found my print on his uniform? You'll find my print on a lot of uniforms. Gibbs is all, actually, you tramp, we got it from the Federales. Photocopier is all, shit. "Found it on the pistol that killed Martinez in Piedras Negras." Tony stalks up behind Photocopier as her expression continues with the "oh. Shit". Heh. "Two days before you hit the Lotto for $37,000," Gibbs continues. Photocopier is looking seriously wigged as Tony leans over her shoulder to purr that they could extradite her, but that Mexican courts get pissy when "gringos kill one of their own." Gibbs slowly walks towards her, telling her he doesn't know if it was her or Martinez that killed Non-Hot Mummy, and she can tell it any way she likes. "We'll take it down," he finishes, as the Dramatic Strings of Resolution get busy and Tony grins over Photocopier's shoulder. Photocopier is all, worst. Day. Ever.

Elevator, night. Owens notes that in Hawaii, "it takes forever to get anything from the Federales." Same here, says Tony, as Gibbs and Kate grin broadly. Tony pats Owens on the shoulder as they step into the elevator, and Owens is all, wait ... oh, no you didn't as Kate and Tony attempt to look innocent and the Dramatic Strings of Those Wacky Federal Agents! Faking Evidence! take us to the end credits.