Reason 1,567 why I'm not on Facebook ...

>> Monday, August 24, 2009

This has just done the rounds of my office - I seriously can't get over the prose here! I'm also thinking that the engagement is off ...

fail owned pwned pictures
see more Fail Blog

UPDATE: Ohhhh. That makes me feel so much better! Er. Except about the part where the girl got her Facebook account hacked, and is probably dying of embarrassment right now. If it's any consolation to her, at least this website won't be causing much exposure!


Some weekend reading

>> Friday, August 14, 2009

A doctor's view of a malpractice suit can be found here. Makes for interesting reading if you're in to that sort of thing - well written and amusing. I thought it made a nice change, since you only ever hear the plaintiff's "that evil bastard doctor/hospital" point of view, and never the perspective of the doctor involved. People forget that there are people who will simply lash out, or are encouraged to do so, at whomever is handy in a situation like that, without taking into account that the other side also comprises real people who will have to deal with the very real, and sometimes quite severe, fallout. One of the comments on this story said that 10% of doctors sued for malpractice will commit (or attempt) suicide - a shocking consequence indeed.

Ahem. I'll just get the hell off of my soapbox now. I have no idea where that came from! Your erratically scheduled snark will be returning soon!


More fun with cats

>> Wednesday, August 12, 2009

When my cats learn how to do this, I'm doomed ...


More Simon's Cat, Hooray!

>> Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Another familiar scene ... except for the part where the cat GIVES AWAY FOOD.


Feel good video of the day Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

>> Monday, August 10, 2009


Enough already!

Dear Friends/Doctors/Acquaintances/Guys Who Passed Michael Jackson On The Street That One Time:


God. GOD!



Does not compute

>> Friday, August 07, 2009

I'm sorry, but I'm pissed by this story.

So they're once again giving movies credit for people's behaviour?

Seriously, people. Movies/music/TV or whatever might give people ideas as to how they're going to do something they were already planning to do, but it sure as fuck isn't going to make them up and do it out of the blue. I'm a huge fan of Dexter, however I'm not about to start murdering the local bogan fuckwits scattered about the deep Adelaide south because of it.

It's a tragedy that this prisoner felt that suicide was his only way out. I certainly don't have all the facts behind this man's actions, but perhaps he could have decided instead to get treatment for his alcoholism and ... you know ... stop hitting his wife. I'm not a mental health expert by any means, but I refuse to accept that you can blame a movie for this.


Aussie guys get bashed again

>> Wednesday, August 05, 2009

I had nothing to do with this article. Really.


Stupidity: You're doing it right

>> Thursday, July 30, 2009

Much has been made over the last day or so of the recent incident on Kyle and Jackie O's radio show on 2Day FM, where they hooked a 14 year old girl up to a lie detector and she admitted that she had been raped at the age of 12 - live on air.

Kyle has made his own response here - and I'm sorry, dude, but you're just not cutting it. My problem is this:

We check with the mother before hand, and go through the questions they want asked.
Excuse me? What the hell do you think you're doing, asking a 14 year old girl those questions on national radio? Shut the fuck up, idiot.

I'm not a huge fan of the guy, but I manage to avoid exposure to him, so I don't have some kind of raging hate-on for him, but if I were his boss, he'd be needing to update his resume right about now. Of course, if I were his boss, he wouldn't have been running a segment which allowed children to be questioned about their sex lives on live fucking radio.

First Dog on the Moon has summed it up nicely here.


Poor kitty ...

>> Friday, July 24, 2009

I hate to say it, but it looks like one of the bugs from Starship Troopers!

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I'm also hating my settings which are cutting off half the picture.

Sigh. Time for another update ...


Feel good video of the day

A nice way to celebrate the end of the week:


Cheaper Books? Doubtful.

As a keen reader (and terrible writer) I have been following the various hissyfits over the Productivity Commission's recommendation to abolish Parallel Import Restrictions with interest, and had found it difficult to find, amongst the various rantings and hurling of insults, any information that would explain clearly what exactly it all meant.

A clear explanation and (to me, highly persuasive) argument againt the abolition of PIRs can be found here. I wasn't exactly persuaded by the arguments put forward by the Coalition for Cheaper Books to start with - I mean really, who trusts retailers to champion lower prices for consumers? As Sally has noted:

The ‘Coalition’ is in fact made up of some very familiar names: Dymocks, Woolworths, Coles, K Mart, Big W and Target. Only one of these has selling books as a core business. All of them have retail as a core business – and a responsibility to maximise their profits to keep shareholders happy. And yet we are asked to believe, because they call themselves ‘The Coalition for Cheaper Books’ that their primary aim is to reduce book prices.

Think, if you will, about recent press about grocery prices. Consumer groups have been hugely concerned that the virtual duopoly held by Coles and Woolworths in the grocery market has driven grocery prices up. This pair also holds a vast share of the petrol market – where prices again go up even as world oil prices drop. Coles and Woolworths (and their subsidiaries) make up a major proportion of the so-called Coalition for Cheaper Books. If they are not concerned with lowering grocery and fuel prices, why should we believe that they will decrease book prices?



Found this via Crikey - I may not watch those particular shows, but dear Lord it applies to practically every show, ever, and they could stand to cut it out.


Pre-emptive No

>> Thursday, July 23, 2009

Note to The Boy - there is no way in HELL we are going to see this movie:

ACCLAIMED director Sam Raimi has been hired to make a movie based on the role-playing fantasy video game World of Warcraft, entertainment industry press reports said today.Raimi, best known for directing the trilogy of blockbuster Spider-Man superhero movies as well as classic 1981 horror film The Evil Dead, will shoot the film after completing work on Spider-Man 4, Daily Variety said.

World of Warcraft is a multiplayer online role-playing game developed by Southern California company Blizzard Entertainment and set in a fantasy world featuring monsters, humans, zombies and magical lands.

The franchise was first launched in 1994 and currently has more than 11 million monthly subscribers worldwide, holding the Guinness World Record for most-subscribed multiplayer online game.

Ack. If you're a fan, you may be either quite excited, in which case feel free to enjoy it far, far from me; or you're horrified at this travesty, in which case I invite you to join me in firebombing every cinema that plays it.*

Note to law enforcement: Kidding!


They didn't. Did they?

>> Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I have been reluctant to add to the outpourings over the death of Michael Jackson, but sharing this article has proved irresistible - probably because it's so twisted.

For example:

"This week at his memorial, his brothers and sisters gathered to support and to mourn the passing of their talented sibling. In the photos of those difficult times, it is immediately apparent that whatever it was that was different about Michael, it probably wasn’t genetic. His eldest brother Jackie is a thick-set man with broad shoulders, Tito has a solid, masculine figure, Jermaine shares the manly physiques of his older brothers and combines it with a chiselled jaw, Marlon and Randy have similar builds and Marlon usually wears a thick

The surviving images of the great castrati of history suggest that
castrati do not physically develop in the same way as other boys. The absence of testosterone as they grow not only affects their ribs, it also prevents them developing the other typical physical characteristics of grown men — body hair, broad shoulders and most significantly, a manly voice. A study in mice also found that castrating mice leads to depigmentation of their skin. Although this finding is hardly conclusive, it provides an intriguing explanation for the significant depigmentation of his skin.

The lack of women (or men) who claim to have slept with Michael Jackson seems surprising given his level of celebrity, and it appears that none of his children were naturally conceived. Michael Jackson kept his private life intensely private, which was his prerogative. But is it possible that his unusual love and s-x life was as much a result of a physical inability to engage in sexual intimacy as it was about sexual preference? He clearly enjoyed the company of children.

Could this have been the result of a preference for the simpler, more honest level at which children communicate, free of the temptations and complications of sexual desire? Perhaps children were more his physical and emotional equals than the adults in his life. They at least spoke with similar voices."

You've got to love a good conspiracy theory, especially one that seems completely implausible.


I was right!!!

According to my sitemeter, since I started (intermittently) posting again? Traffic plummeted!! Whee!!


Seriously. SHUT. UP!

>> Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I am still enjoying the Days of Rage (aka the quit smoking project), as at least I have licence to bitch loudly at work and nobody is quite game to tell me off. However, I have discovered an article I do not feel qualified to bitch about, except to say that this cock-smurf might change his tune after he passes a kidney stone the size of a watermelon. The DVD Queen will be there to tell him to push when he does.


News from the file marked "DUH!"

>> Monday, July 13, 2009

I'm back from the blogging dead to report that I am in fact still alive. My many fans* may breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately there will be no recaps in the near future (I know! I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from here!! Heh), as there are certain other things keeping me distracted. Such as a quit smoking attempt. I think I'm going to KILL SOMEONE soon. Everyone just needs to shut up already. Shut up A LOT.

In case you can't tell, I'm really living up to my name here. I'm very easily set off, so today's "You Idiots" award goes to the Advertiser, and whoever decided that this was newsworthy. I mean, really? No shit? Way to go, Australian Institute of Criminology!!

Excuse me. I think I need to go and kick the photocopier.

* Yes, I know. That was sarcasm.

Update: Also? NO SHIT, Sherlock.



>> Friday, April 17, 2009

Congratulations to the DVD Queen on her percolating infant!


Speaking of disgusting ...

This is where drunken internet surfing can lead you ...

see more pwn and owned pictures


I'm scared. And concerned. And disgusted. And possibly offended.

All right, I can't hold it in any longer.

Two things I have noticed during this period of "I'm officially not posting":

1. My readership (or, more realistically, "readership") has increased dramatically. The number of page visits and views has suddenly sky rocketed. So, I have to wonder if people are trying to tell me something - but if it is a matter of people trying to gently hint to me that my blog is lame, well ... surely there would be much less traffic? Plus, I already know that. You people are hurting my brain.

2. When you're not hurting my brain, you're grossing it out. Some of the most common search terms leading people here? NCIS porn. No, really. How the hell do they get here from that? Are my recaps honestly that sizzling??? What the hell??? I'm worried about you people. You shouldn't be trying to picture Gibbs and Tony in a slashfic pairing, okay? Certainly not on this site. It's sick and wrong and not of the Lord.

Although I have to admit, the weirdest search query to bring someone here? "NCIS name of photocopier". Seriously. HEE HEE HEE!!!


Cranky Princess is on hiatus

>> Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I know, I know. Try to contain your shock and despair!!

If I manage to do a recap I will of course post it, however for the next while I will for various reasons not be posting. I hope to resume regular transmissions soon!


Dear Malcolm Turnbull

>> Friday, February 06, 2009

Please pass the $42 billion stimulus package. Baby needs a new ipod, dammit!!

In other news, we are frying here (again!), while Sydney bitches about it being a heatwave because it's going to be, like 34C. Shut up, Sydney. Bunch of wusses, y'all! Anyway, what I meant to say was, my brain has melted, which is why you keep getting links and no actual effort at creativity on my part.

Wicked excuse, no??


Kitty! Aw.

>> Wednesday, February 04, 2009

A brief interlude of cute can be found here.



>> Tuesday, February 03, 2009

A.K.A, "How to make the Superbowl more interesting"


Oh. My God!!!

>> Wednesday, January 28, 2009

People are weird. Really, seriously, insanely weird!!

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures


Oh, dear.

An example of toasting marshmallows on the banks of Denial...

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures


Brain. Melting!

I am not enjoying this. At all. But I think I want to divorce my husband and marry my air conditioner!


The Award for Excellence in Snark ...

>> Tuesday, January 27, 2009

... Should surely go to this guy!


How to scar somebody for life

>> Friday, January 23, 2009

Courtesy of Ms Outraged:

Guess who will be spending the long weekend gouging her eyes out after that? Because for a moment there, it seemed like YOU COULD SEE DOWN THE SIDE OF HIS LEOTARD AND NOBODY NEEDS TO SEE THAT SHIT!

Excuse me, I think I need to lie down.


Oops ...

>> Thursday, January 22, 2009

Aaaand here's why you should keep your kids and your drug operation separate!


I love Simon's Cat

>> Wednesday, January 21, 2009

These have been around for ages, but I'm throwing them in here so I don't have to hunt them down anymore. Enjoy!


Dear Idiot

Whose car alarm incessantly brayed ANNOYINGLY on King William Street this afternoon:

If your car alarm goes off because you've fucked up your immobiliser, or whatever, please make sure that you know how to pull out the wires from your battery to shut it off, or whatever; or ensure that you learn all forms of alarm silencing. Otherwise you are going to end up with a street full of angry office workers desperately attempting to stave off rage blackouts, which could cause them to come down there and stab you with a letter opener.



I just found the awesomest thing ever

This will keep you endlessly amused while I fuck around and pretend I'm totally going to put up some new material, but don't for months and months and then put up three recaps in one week. Or something along those lines.

Anyway, check it out. Awesome!


Have cats, will do something REALLY dumb

>> Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I LOVE this. Love love love it!


I am a slacker

Yes, I know that the last time I posted it was around the time that man discovered fire. So sue me. I've been busy with stuff, and believe it or not, it did not entirely consist of drinking. No, seriously. No. Seriously.

Anyway, I will do my utmost to drag out another recap soon - hopefully this weekend. I would also love to bitch about the whole Israel going postal on Hamas thing, but really, if I could come up with a coherent solution for that mess, aside from "give the Palestinians better arms and training to even up the odds, and seal the borders and wait for the dust to settle," I would be rich and not a misanthropic legal secretary.

Anyway, according to my stats there are people still reading this (you guys, seriously - unless you're just accidentally popping in while searching for something else, I don't know whether to hug you or worry about your sanity), so I hope you had a good Christmas, New Year, etc.

(Ir)regularly scheduled snark returning soon!


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